¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Is pollution a big problem in your city? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-23 147

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
This is great effort.
You are showing the way you express yourslef.
Learn form your mistakes and apply what you learned.
Focus on the correct expressions to use in specific situations.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
>> Correct
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
>> According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, stated that they have suffered the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
>> Correct
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. 
>> This is true especially in Daejeon where there are many factories  in Daedeok industrial complex. 
It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
>> It causes the deterioration of the atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. 
>> To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve our environment.
In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. 
>> In my opinion, one effective way is to enact laws which regulate the level of emissions of factories by imposing an environmental tax on them. 
By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143931 0501 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 1
143930 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 317
143929 homework ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 3
143928 Househusband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 242
143927 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 289
143926 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 368
143925 Would you ever go backpacking through Europe? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143924 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143923 HOMEWORK FOR 04/25 Writing Task: What are some challenges people... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143922 Do you think that holidays are now commercialized? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143921 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 273
143920 What animal would you like to have as a pet?Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 297
143919 What do you do if someone you trust asks you to do something... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 0
143918 0430 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 0
143917 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 301
143916 fat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143915 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 246
143914 How has English affected your native language; have you noticed... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143913 How would people know they have made the right choice? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143912 How has English affected your native language; have you noticed... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04