¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Is pollution a big problem in your city? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-23 306

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
This is great effort.
You are showing the way you express yourslef.
Learn form your mistakes and apply what you learned.
Focus on the correct expressions to use in specific situations.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
>> Correct
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
>> According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, stated that they have suffered the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
>> Correct
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. 
>> This is true especially in Daejeon where there are many factories  in Daedeok industrial complex. 
It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
>> It causes the deterioration of the atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. 
>> To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve our environment.
In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. 
>> In my opinion, one effective way is to enact laws which regulate the level of emissions of factories by imposing an environmental tax on them. 
By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143807 In two sentences, what is your preferred mode of transportation,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 342
143806 What is the strangest thing you\'ve ever found in your pocket? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 394
143805 The homework for 24th April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 378
143804 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143803 The saddest time I had as a kid ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 386
143802 Do you ever find it hard to throw things away because they have... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143801 What is your favorite novel? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 361
143800 How might this impeachment influence future presidential... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 377
143799 Why is it important for everyone to learn how to use technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 457
143798 Do you think people should always return a favor? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 381
143797 Describe a time in your life when someone treated you unfairly. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 400
143796 0423 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143795 Ointment ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 455
143794 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 358
143793 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 348
143792 Why do you think K-Dramas are popular around the world? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 3
143791 What are the things that you currently desire? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143790 Is it okay to say no when someone asks for a favor? Why or why... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 493
143789 What was the best improvement in your writing skills nowadays? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 3
143788 4/23 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04