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HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Is pollution a big problem in your city? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-23 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
This is great effort.
You are showing the way you express yourslef.
Learn form your mistakes and apply what you learned.
Focus on the correct expressions to use in specific situations.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
>> Correct
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
>> According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, stated that they have suffered the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
>> Correct
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. 
>> This is true especially in Daejeon where there are many factories  in Daedeok industrial complex. 
It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
>> It causes the deterioration of the atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. 
>> To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve our environment.
In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. 
>> In my opinion, one effective way is to enact laws which regulate the level of emissions of factories by imposing an environmental tax on them. 
By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.
>> Correct
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