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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in to get into a better mood? Explain.

작성자: 조*수
2025-05-28 757

회원님의 영작문

I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. but I played football games with my friends every free time. Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts. If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Isaac!
I would say that you really work hard.
I know that you have a busy life.
I appreciate that you're writing to improve yourself.
You're showing your commitment to develop yourself.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. 
>> Correct
but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. 
>> However, it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump.
One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. 
>> Correct
When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. 
>> When I was in third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed.
but I played football games with my friends every free time. 
>> However, I played football with my friends during my free time.
Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. 
>> Correct
Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. 
>> Correct
so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. 
>> So, I recommend having regular exercise to manage your mood.
Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. 
>> Another way I control my emotions is to have a hobby related to instruments.
whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. 
>> Whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar.
Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts.
>> Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on it, I can get rid of my negative thoughts.
If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.
>> If I’m in a situation where I can’t play an instrument, just listening to my favorite songs also makes me feel better.



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