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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the best local event or festival in your country? Why?

작성자: 이*윤
2025-05-28 658

회원님의 영작문

I haven't been to many local events or festivals, so I can't choose the best local events of festivals.
There are many local events and festivals all year round in Korea.
In particular, most of the local events and festivals using goods or produces produced by region are held, and local evnets and festivals based on culture are also held.
Instead, I will tell you about the festival held in my area.
Our area used to be a country called Gaya in ancient times. This country was a short but prosperous country based on iron, so it is an area where the culture of Gaya is based. Surprisingly, the first king of Gaya was married to a woman from the kingdom of India, it was recorded as the first time that he had married a foreign woman.
So, based on the rich cultural heritage and culture of Gaya, our region holds the Gaya Cultural Festival from April or May every year.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun! 

Thank you for sharing the local festival in your area. 
It was amazing to know the history of such festivity - knowing its history and cause. 
It makes people from the current society look back and learn about our land and ancestors. ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina


I haven't been to many local events or festivals, so I can't choose the best local events of festivals.
>> I haven't been to many local events or festivals so I can't choose the best one. 

There are many local events and festivals all year round in Korea.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: There are countless events and festivals all year round in Korea.

In particular, most of the local events and festivals using goods or produces produced by region are held, and local evnets and festivals based on culture are also held.
>>  In particular, most of the local events and festivals highlight the goods or produce and culture by the region where they are held. 

Instead, I will tell you about the festival held in my area.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: I will inform you about the festival held in my area.

Our area used to be a country called Gaya in ancient times. 
>>  CORRECT.
>> Or: Our place was a country called Gaya in the ancient times. 

This country was a short but prosperous country based on iron, so it is an area where the culture of Gaya is based. 
>>  This country was small but prosperous with iron, so it is an area where the culture of Gaya is based. 

Surprisingly, the first king of Gaya was married to a woman from the kingdom of India, it was recorded as the first time that he had married a foreign woman.
>>  Surprisingly, the first king of Gaya was married to a woman from the kingdom of India. It was the first record of him marrying a foreign woman. 

So, based on the rich cultural heritage and culture of Gaya, our region holds the Gaya Cultural Festival from April or May every year.
>>  CORRECT.

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