무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Which do you prefer: more money or increased popularity?

작성자: 김*경
2025-05-28 779

회원님의 영작문

I’d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money. But I don’t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it. As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can’t last for a long time. What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming. In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts. So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything. However, I don’t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can’t buy with much money.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Steve!^^

Yes, being well-known can frequently result in earning money, but wealth can also provide one a sense of stability and financial security. Along with the chance to save for the future, it can enable people to cover their essential expenses, like housing, food, and medical care.
Each has advantages and disadvantages.

Thank you for completing your composition. See you tomorrow!

__T. Mayleen :)


I’d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: I'd rather have more money than popularity because popularity is less useful and fickle than money.
But I don’t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it.
>>> But I don't claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without me knowing it.
>>> OR: But I do not argue that money is eternal. Money could fly away at any time without my knowledge.
As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
>>> As the time went by, I came to know the power of money and why people can be obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can’t last for a long time.
>>> To say it roughly, popularity supported by money can't last for a long time.
What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
>>> What can you please people with? You would need to treat them to dinner, or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts.
>>> In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or effort.
So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything.
>>> So I would prefer the more fundamental thing over everything.
However, I don’t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can’t buy with much money.
>>> However, I don't think money can be a key to all problems. For example, a true relationship can come from only love, which I can't buy with any amount of money.

Enable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
or reload the browserDisable GingerRephraseRephrase with Ginger (Ctrl+Alt+E)
Edit in GingerGinger is checking your text for mistakes...×
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143678 . 김*인 완료 2025-04-16 1129
143677 Where could the best restaurant in your city be? 이*희 완료 2025-04-16 1017
143676 What are the things you want to enjoy during weekends? 이*윤 완료 2025-04-16 1096
143675 opic questions 석*현 완료 2025-04-16 4
143674 Yes, I love butterflies. 유*빈 완료 2025-04-16 1039
143673 Have you ever experienced burnout from work? How did you handle... 윤*인 완료 2025-04-16 1
143672 Why do you think some people are afraid of the hospital? 김*운 완료 2025-04-16 1234
143671 homework 이*아 완료 2025-04-16 969
143670 0415 IELTS writing Task 2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-04-16 1
143669 What is the implication of having an aging population? 조*명 완료 2025-04-16 1090
143668 What would happen if everyone in the world spoke the same... 조*명 완료 2025-04-16 1341
143667 Homework for today 엄*린 완료 2025-04-16 941
143666 When do you drink coffee? Do you drink it at the same time every... 임*미 완료 2025-04-16 1148
143665 IELTS SPEAKING 6 전*주 완료 2025-04-16 0
143664 IELTS SPEAKING 5 전*주 완료 2025-04-16 1
143663 wildfire 민*정 완료 2025-04-16 0
143662 typhoon 민*정 완료 2025-04-16 0
143661 What would you change about your childhood? 권*지 완료 2025-04-16 1
143660 Differences and similarities between Western and Asian people 한*원 완료 2025-04-16 971
143659 You mentioned that if you had a child, you would want him/her to... 권*지 완료 2025-04-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]