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(Homework) Where is your ideal place for a long vacation and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2025-05-29 259

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have a long vacation that I don¡¯t need to work at all, I¡¯d like to go Hawaii. Frist of all, I want to take a rest without working, because I¡¯ve worked continuously even during vacations.Second, I¡¯d like to have many kinds of Hawaiian famous food such as LocoMoco, Poke, Kona coffee etc. Last one is activities and local tours.I heard that there are a lot of things to enjoy in Hawaii.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again, Ray!

Here's your edited composition.  Please go over the revisions given below.  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                     
                                                  Where is your ideal pl,ace for a long vacation and why?


If I have a long vacation that I don¡¯t need to work at all, I¡¯d like to go Hawaii. 
>>> If I had a long vacation where I didn¡¯t have to work at all, I¡¯d like to go to Hawaii.
>>> OR: I¡¯d like to go to Hawaii if I had an extended break without any work obligations.

Frist of all, I want to take a rest without working, because I¡¯ve worked continuously even during vacations. 
>>> First of all, I want to rest without working because I¡¯ve been working continuously, even during vacations.
>>> OR: First and foremost, I just want to take a break from work since I¡¯ve been working non-stop, even during vacations.

Second, I¡¯d like to have many kinds of Hawaiian famous food such as LocoMoco, Poke, Kona coffee etc. 
>>> Second, I¡¯d like to try various famous Hawaiian foods, such as Loco Moco, Poke, Kona coffee, etc.
>>> OR: After that, I¡¯d like to indulge in some of Hawaii¡¯s signature dishes, including Loco Moco, Poke, and Kona coffee.

Last one is activities and local tours.I heard that there are a lot of things to enjoy in Hawaii.
>>> Last, I¡¯m excited about activities and local tours. I¡¯ve heard there¡¯s so much to experience in Hawaii.

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