¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What skills would you like to learn in the future? Explain

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-29 598

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. I originally studied aerospace engineering. Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. It would be more suitable for my personality and creative style. In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
Please take note of connectors and punctuation marks.
I love reading about your ideas.
Keep practicing!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. 
>> Correct
Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. 
>> Correct
I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. 
>> I think this skill can't be acquired just by understanding the related knowledge but it actually takes a lot of experience.
I originally studied aerospace engineering. 
>> Correct
Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
>> Although the name of the subject suggests it affords many chances to influence people's lives, I later realized that the industry is actually very conservative and it's hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. 
>> So I changed my dream of influencing the world, not through technological advancement but through more direct ways, such as business. 
In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.
>> In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially those related to global issues and humanity in the future.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143299 Can you describe your favorite singer or musician? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143298 Do you think climate change is making wildfires worse? Why or... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143297 Do you think younger generations in Korea have a different view... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143296 What is one famous tourist attraction in another country that... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143295 Is music important? Why or why not? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 811
143294 HOMEWORK 3/28 ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 778
143293 I think happiness a choice. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 795
143292 today Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 745
143291 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 700
143290 Can you trust a friend again after they have betrayed you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 924
143289 Why do some people handle waiting better than others? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 940
143288 Talk about the best food that you\'ve eaten at a restaurant. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 789
143287 What would you do if you had more free time? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 720
143286 Do you think the Internet is the best invention? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 872
143285 2025.03.28 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 968
143284 Why do so many people love traveling? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 2
143283 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 3
143282 zoom ID ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 901
143281 perks ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 1122
143280 Write about your favorite fictional character or famous person.... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 918

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04