¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What skills would you like to learn in the future? Explain

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-29 257

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. I originally studied aerospace engineering. Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. It would be more suitable for my personality and creative style. In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
Please take note of connectors and punctuation marks.
I love reading about your ideas.
Keep practicing!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. 
>> Correct
Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. 
>> Correct
I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. 
>> I think this skill can't be acquired just by understanding the related knowledge but it actually takes a lot of experience.
I originally studied aerospace engineering. 
>> Correct
Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
>> Although the name of the subject suggests it affords many chances to influence people's lives, I later realized that the industry is actually very conservative and it's hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. 
>> So I changed my dream of influencing the world, not through technological advancement but through more direct ways, such as business. 
In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.
>> In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially those related to global issues and humanity in the future.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144207 Should voting (for government officials) be made mandatory? Why... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 356
144206 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 389
144205 D5 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 376
144204 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 2
144203 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 3
144202 What is your favorite activity to do in your free time? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 0
144201 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 290
144200 Do you have any specific rules or guidelines for visitors Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 2
144199 Aside from car purchase discounts, what are the typical benefits... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 311
144198  I heard that trot singing competitions are popular TV... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 2
144197 The homework for 20th May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 356
144196 Do you think phone calls are better than face-to-face... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 0
144195 What\'s the most infamous international organization in the... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 2
144194 Do you think winning is more about skill, luck, or perseverance?... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 1
144193 In what situations is a live broadcast more effective than a... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 1
144192 Tell me about your visit to Greece. Talk about the Acropolis of... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 1
144191 No, I don\'t believe in fairies. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 296
144190 tattoo ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 1
144189 acts/actress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 1
144188 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-20 364

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04