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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What type of leadership style do you think is most effective in fostering a productive and healthy w

작성자: 오*영
2025-05-30 260

회원님의 영작문

I feel like that it depends on some situations or steps.
For example, in my company team's case,
I think the leader have to be restrict,
because we are dealing with many kind of parmartuerical procducts.
It have to control under fixed temperature and deliver to certain customers.
So we must practice all task and work following regular SOP.
However, I prefer people with humanity.

Hello Elly.
I was happy, today.
Tomorrow, I'm going to go Seoul for meeting my friends of the university.
So, I went to the shopping mall with my son and brought some clothes, today.
Of course, I brough a pair of shoes and T-shirts for my son and husband,
because they might be angry, if I didn't buy it for them.
They was happy and thanks for my plans.
It's a friday.
Have a nice weekend.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Stella, 
Thanks, as always, for taking the time to answer this essay. :)
I totally agree with you because leading with humanity means guiding others with kindness, empathy, and respect. I strongly believe that everyone must be respected regardless of their rank and position in the company. 
Wow! I hope you had a great time with your university friends. I’m also happy to hear that you bought something for yourself. I’m sure your son and husband are happy too; everybody’s happy! I hope you had a wonderful day today. Wishing you a less stressful week! :)

- Teacher Elly~



I feel like that it depends on some situations or steps.

>> I feel like it depends on the situation or the steps involved.

OR >> I think it depends on the situation or the specific steps.


For example, in my company team's case, I think the leader have to be restrict, because we are dealing with many kind of parmartuerical procducts.

>> For example, in my company's team, I think the leader has to be strict because we are dealing with many kinds of pharmaceutical products.


It have to control under fixed temperature and deliver to certain customers.

>> It has to be kept under a fixed temperature and delivered to certain customers.


So we must practice all task and work following regular SOP.

>> So we must perform all tasks and work according to the regular SOP.


However, I prefer people with humanity.

>> However, I prefer leaders who act with humanity.

OR >> However, I prefer a leadership style that shows humanity.


Hello Elly.

>> Hello, Elly. 


I was happy, today.

>> I was happy today.

OR >> Today, I was happy.


Tomorrow, I'm going to go Seoul for meeting my friends of the university.

>> Tomorrow, I'm going to Seoul to meet my university friends.


So, I went to the shopping mall with my son and brought some clothes, today.

>> So, I went to the shopping mall with my son and bought some clothes today.


Of course, I brough a pair of shoes and T-shirts for my son and husband, because they might be angry, if I didn't buy it for them.

>> Of course, I bought a pair of shoes and T-shirts for my son and husband because they might have been angry if I didn’t buy them.

OR >> Of course, I bought a pair of shoes and T-shirts for my son and husband because they might be angry if I didn’t buy them anything.


They was happy and thanks for my plans.

>>They were happy and thankful for my plans.


It's a friday.

>> It's a Friday. 

OR >> It's Friday.
 

Have a nice weekend.

>> CORRECT

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
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