무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

D9 essay homework

작성자: 김*수
2025-06-03 174

회원님의 영작문



D9 essay homework

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Aiden! Thanks  for your essay today! You clearly state your opinion and stick to it throughout the essay. This makes your argument easy to follow. Although there were still some sentences have grammatical issues or awkward phrasing. So check the corrections out and keep improving. See you!
>>> TACHER GEMMA
While I agree that young leaders better than older leaders, such as flexibility and innovation, collaborative leadership and energy and drive, I personally believe that older leaders more efficient at workplace. In this essay, I will explain why I believe this.
REVISED: While I agree that young leaders have advantages over older leaders, such as flexibility, innovation, collaborative leadership, energy, and drive, I personally believe that older leaders are more efficient in the workplace. In this essay, I will explain why I believe this.

 The first reason is fully experienced at company, order people filled up to various experiences. More detail, if new workers have a problem, it is good way to find a person with experience, because they may already know the solution. In addition, most experienced workers receive high salaries, which reflect their responsibilities and dedication. As a result, older people better leader than young people.
REVISED: The first reason is that older leaders are fully experienced in the company and have accumulated various experiences. More specifically, when new workers face a problem, it is helpful to consult someone with experience because they may already know the solution. In addition, most experienced workers receive higher salaries, which reflect their responsibilities and dedication. As a result, older people tend to be better leaders than younger people.

 The second reason is that a veteran employees worked over a long period. Therefore, they can provide many examples. In my case, when I was a junior worker, I didn’t have much time, because I am not used to it, so it always took me a long time to work, and then my team leader created the manual himself and gave it to me. As a result, I was able to take my work time to efficiently. If he doesn’t have an experience, he wouldn’t have been able to help anyone. 
REVISED: The second reason is that veteran employees have worked for a long period and can therefore provide many useful examples. In my case, when I was a junior worker, I didn’t manage my time well because I was not used to the tasks, so it often took me a long time to complete my work. My team leader created a manual himself and gave it to me. As a result, I was able to work more efficiently. If he hadn’t had that experience, he wouldn’t have been able to help me.

Due to reasons, I believe that older leaders high efficient at workplaces.
REVISED: For these reasons, I believe that older leaders are more efficient in the workplace.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
144200 Do you have any specific rules or guidelines for visitors 진*호 완료 2025-05-20 2
144199 Aside from car purchase discounts, what are the typical benefits... 이*훈 완료 2025-05-20 371
144198  I heard that trot singing competitions are popular TV... 진*호 완료 2025-05-20 2
144197 The homework for 20th May. 조*호 완료 2025-05-20 415
144196 Do you think phone calls are better than face-to-face... 윤*인 완료 2025-05-20 0
144195 What\'s the most infamous international organization in the... 임* 완료 2025-05-20 2
144194 Do you think winning is more about skill, luck, or perseverance?... 진*호 완료 2025-05-20 1
144193 In what situations is a live broadcast more effective than a... 진*호 완료 2025-05-20 1
144192 Tell me about your visit to Greece. Talk about the Acropolis of... 이*희 완료 2025-05-20 1
144191 No, I don\'t believe in fairies. 유*빈 완료 2025-05-20 363
144190 tattoo 민*정 완료 2025-05-20 1
144189 acts/actress 민*정 완료 2025-05-20 1
144188 Homework 김*님 완료 2025-05-20 426
144187 homework 이*민 완료 2025-05-20 463
144186 Yes, I like Mickey Mouse. 유*빈 완료 2025-05-20 413
144185 0516 IELTS writing Task2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-05-20 0
144184 . 김*인 완료 2025-05-19 386
144183 Why are some people hesitant to give advice to others? 여*찬 완료 2025-05-19 0
144182 homework 김*연 완료 2025-05-19 0
144181 If you can become a Disney character, which one are you going... 이*윤 완료 2025-05-19 401

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]