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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think technology makes life easier or more complicated? Explain

작성자: 조*수
2025-06-04 529

회원님의 영작문

I think that technology makes our lives more complicated even though technology has brought convenience to people. However, I am not optimistic about the future of humanity. Let's take smartphones. Since the 2010s, when they became widespread, most people have become bound to them. Also, perhaps it is because I am living in Korea, paradoxically contemporary people tend to work more busily and remain tied to their labor despite the development of technology. Those lives seem far from happiness. Cutting-edge technologies have some problems too. Biotechnology and automated processes have several side effects. So it will be more important to pursue happiness, meanings in life than only seeking and competing for technologies. I often yearn for those lives like Bach, Tycho Brahe and shepherds. Their lives were really peaceful - playing the harpsichord or living in nature during the day and looking up at the sky to admire constellations every night, not competing for development and success.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Isaac!
Good job on your descriptions today.
You were able to paint a picture of your ideas.
We just need to polish some patterns and we're good to go^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that technology makes our lives more complicated even though technology has brought convenience to people. 
>> Correct
However, I am not optimistic about the future of humanity. 
>> Correct
Let's take smartphones. 
>> Let's take smartphones as an example. 
Since the 2010s, when they became widespread, most people have become bound to them. 
>> Since the 2010s, when they became widespread, most people have become dependent on them. 
Also, perhaps it is because I am living in Korea, paradoxically contemporary people tend to work more busily and remain tied to their labor despite the development of technology. 
>> Also, perhaps it is because I am living in Korea, paradoxically contemporary people here tend to work more busily and remain tied to their labor despite the development of technology. 
Those lives seem far from happiness. 
>> Those lives seem distant from happiness. 
Cutting-edge technologies have some problems too. 
>> Correct
Biotechnology and automated processes have several side effects. 
>> Correct
So it will be more important to pursue happiness, meanings in life than only seeking and competing for technologies. 
>> So it will be more important to pursue happiness and meaning in life than to seek more advanced technologies.
I often yearn for those lives like Bach, Tycho Brahe and shepherds. 
>> I often yearn for lives like those of Bach, Tycho Brahe and shepherds. 
Their lives were really peaceful - playing the harpsichord or living in nature during the day and looking up at the sky to admire constellations every night, not competing for development and success.
>> Correct
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