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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can we encourage more youth to participate in elections and vote?

작성자: 오*영
2025-06-09 327

회원님의 영작문

In the case with my son,
He said that he watched their shows campaign promise speech on Youtube in the internet.
I believe that the record is made by someone and involved in their opinions.
it is not only my son. So, when I think about this.
If we want more youth to participate in the elections and need thier pure opinions,
we have to make a show for youth and the younger students .
I feel like usual election speech is impactful to youth because it is too aggressive and too hard to understand why they have to do that.

Hello Elly.
Today's weather is very nice.
Sunny and hot. So hot.
I went to camping with my son and my son's friend , last weekend.
There was a swimming pool in there, so my son and his friend was good.
But we had a shot from mosquitoes, because there was in the forest.
My son is still suffering from the bitten.
Have a nice day.
Thank you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Stella,

As always, thank you for taking the time to answer these questions. I totally agree with you. I think the government must create a show or program specifically for young people. Through this, they can better understand the purpose of elections and the power they hold in choosing the country's leaders.


I think summer is really coming. Stay hydrated!

It's good to know that you had a great weekend with your son. I hope your son recovers fast!


I'll see you later. Thank you again!:) 
- Teacher Elly~ 


In the case with my son, He said that he watched their shows campaign promise speech on Youtube in the internet.
>> As for my son, he stated that he watched their campaign promise speeches on YouTube.

I believe that the record is made by someone and involved in their opinions. 
>> I believe that the record was made by someone, and it reflects their opinions.
  
it is not only my son. So, when I think about this.
>> I think it is not only my son's perspective. 

If we want more youth to participate in the elections and need thier pure opinions, we have to make a show for youth and the younger students .
>> If we want more youth to participate in elections and get their genuine opinions, we need to create a program or platform/event for young people.

I feel like usual election speech is impactful to youth because it is too aggressive and too hard to understand why they have to do that.
>> I feel that typical election speeches aren't effective with young people because they're too aggressive and difficult for youth to understand.

Hello Elly.
>> CORRECT

Today's weather is very nice.
>> CORRECT

Sunny and hot. So hot.
>> It's sunny and hot. It's scorching hot. 

I went to camping with my son and my son's friend , last weekend.
>> I went camping with my son and my son's friend last weekend.

There was a swimming pool in there, so my son and his friend was good.
>> There was a swimming pool in there, so my son and his friend were good.

But we had a shot from mosquitoes, because there was in the forest.
>> But we got bitten by mosquitoes a lot, because we were in the forest.
OR >> Unfortunately, we got a lot of mosquito bites because of being in the forest.

My son is still suffering from the bitten.
>> My son is still suffering from the bites.

Have a nice day. Thank you.
>> CORRECT
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