¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should schools focus more on practical skills rather than academic subjects? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-06-11 168

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
The sentences are too long this time so they are not as clear as your sentences before.
You could have elaborated more on the topic.
There is definitely room for improvement on this composition.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. 
>> Correct
As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
>> As we head to the Fourth Industrial Revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. 
>> Academically, if students go to university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learn will build a foundation for the curriculum and help them apply knowledge to tasks. 
Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. 
>> Correct
Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. 
>> Correct
I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. 
>> I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also reading books, exploring enjoyable skills and participating in extracurricular activities. 
I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.
>> I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now is the time to lay a solid foundation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144670 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-19 81
144669 0618 IELTS writing Task1 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 0
144668 Do you think visiting new places is more enjoyable alone or with... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 81
144667 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 65
144666 How does waking up early affect productivity? Explain. ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 57
144665 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 2
144664 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 0
144663 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 2
144662 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 63
144661 How is our accent affected by our birthplace? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 70
144660 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 55
144659 No, I don\'t want to try banana ketchup. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 61
144658 What can younger people learn from spending more time with older... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 57
144657 The economy is always a significant concern. How is the Korean... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 61
144656 How would you feel if someone canceled on you at the last minute? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 67
144655 What is the best local event or festival in your country? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 75
144654 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 1
144653 food price ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 116
144652 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 61
144651 Do you think visiting new places is more enjoyable alone or with... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-18 60

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04