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Should schools focus more on practical skills rather than academic subjects? Explain.

작성자: 조*수
2025-06-11 343

회원님의 영작문

I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Isaac!
The sentences are too long this time so they are not as clear as your sentences before.
You could have elaborated more on the topic.
There is definitely room for improvement on this composition.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. 
>> Correct
As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
>> As we head to the Fourth Industrial Revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. 
>> Academically, if students go to university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learn will build a foundation for the curriculum and help them apply knowledge to tasks. 
Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. 
>> Correct
Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. 
>> Correct
I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. 
>> I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also reading books, exploring enjoyable skills and participating in extracurricular activities. 
I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.
>> I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now is the time to lay a solid foundation.
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