무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should schools focus more on practical skills rather than academic subjects? Explain.

작성자: 조*수
2025-06-11 401

회원님의 영작문

I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Isaac!
The sentences are too long this time so they are not as clear as your sentences before.
You could have elaborated more on the topic.
There is definitely room for improvement on this composition.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't agree that schools should focus more on practical skills. 
>> Correct
As we are heading to the fourth Industrial revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
>> As we head to the Fourth Industrial Revolution, our society and technologies around us are becoming more complicated and advanced. 
Academically, If students go to a university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learned will build a foundation for the curriculum and help students apply knowledge to tasks. 
>> Academically, if students go to university, regardless of their majors, the academic subjects they learn will build a foundation for the curriculum and help them apply knowledge to tasks. 
Unless they learn rudimentary academic subjects such as math, science and economics, they will be at a disadvantage when competing with others in their fields. 
>> Correct
Even if one has a job not related to professional or research work, those subjects will help them broaden their perspective on the world and adapt to the workplace. 
>> Correct
I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also read books, explore enjoyable skills and participate in extracurricular activities. 
>> I recommend that students make learning academic subjects the focus, while also reading books, exploring enjoyable skills and participating in extracurricular activities. 
I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now lay a solid foundation.
>> I believe specific and practical skills can be acquired after graduation, so now is the time to lay a solid foundation.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143832 homework 이*민 완료 2025-04-25 868
143831 People compete in sports, games, the economy, and many other... 이*윤 완료 2025-04-25 872
143830 How do you balance studying for multiple exams? 김*운 완료 2025-04-25 767
143829 ㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-04-25 891
143828 what are your thought on the four-day work week? 오*영 완료 2025-04-25 1087
143827 What’s one thing you’re most excited about at your son\'s... 이*희 완료 2025-04-25 981
143826 Birthday present that I want to receive is tumbler. 유*빈 완료 2025-04-25 868
143825 Is it okay to say no when someone asks for a favor? Why or why... 이*태 완료 2025-04-25 835
143824 Is there a time when forgetting something turned out to be a... 이*태 완료 2025-04-25 932
143823 Do you think a planner helps you stay organized or simply gives... 이*태 완료 2025-04-25 894
143822 ㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-04-25 848
143821 0424 IELTS writing Task2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-04-25 0
143820 Discuss your earliest memory as a child. 박*호 완료 2025-04-25 913
143819 Homework 송*진 완료 2025-04-25 2
143818 massage with tools 양*연 완료 2025-04-25 837
143817 What is the most popular sport in your country? 여*찬 완료 2025-04-25 1
143816 Homework 김*진 완료 2025-04-25 1
143815 homework 이*민 완료 2025-04-25 931
143814 4/24 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-04-25 1
143813 Should high-paying jobs be taxed more to support low-income... 문*현 완료 2025-04-24 922

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]