¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Share one story you\'ve read about the moon.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-06-15 206

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good afternoon there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                Share one story you've read about the moon.


Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.
>> The famous story about the moon is not true - there is no water, and no rabbit living on it. In fact, no animals can survive on the moon.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144143 What is the best surprise you ever had? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 658
144142 Have you ever prepared a full course (appetizer, main dish,... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 2
144141 Do you think that your country is changing rapidly? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 511
144140 Please call this number 010 3559 2141 ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 657
144139 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 561
144138 The homework for 16th May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 637
144137 Homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 586
144136 What food will you \"NEVER\" eat? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 1
144135 I like watermelon. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 650
144134 D4 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 645
144133 0515 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144132 What are the disadvantages of aging? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 561
144131 for women, Why? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 576
144130 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 1
144129 What major changes did you have to make when moving from the... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 727
144128 soccer ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144127 song ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144126 how many days ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144125 How do cultural differences affect closing deals in... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144124 Our product follows global standards for connection and... ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 622

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04