¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Share one story you\'ve read about the moon.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-06-15 215

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good afternoon there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                Share one story you've read about the moon.


Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.
>> The famous story about the moon is not true - there is no water, and no rabbit living on it. In fact, no animals can survive on the moon.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144089 Do you believe that a home reflects a person\'s identiy,... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 602
144088 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 580
144087 Jeny! ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 625
144086 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 595
144085 I prepare to set my CEO\'s interview with journalists ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 683
144084 what is your idea of a perfect weekend? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 605
144083 D3 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 563
144082 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144081 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 576
144080 Do we need to work to maintain friendships? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 0
144079 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 1
144078 Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 504
144077 What do you think of every time you visit the dentist? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 566
144076 Write about your trip to Seoul during the long holiday. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 610
144075 What\'s the most useful pet in the world? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 666
144074 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 540
144073 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 543
144072 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 561
144071 What are some differences between Korea and the philippines that... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 591
144070 What is some good news that changed your life? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 557

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04