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What is the implication of having an aging population?

작성자: 최*희
2025-06-16 255

회원님의 영작문

The implication of having an aging population means that the number of elder is much more that young people in this society. From the government position, the income can be decreased for running the country and the youth labors are getting lower in the industry felid. In Korea, the birth rate has been declined for decades so the government introduced a range of policies to resolve this issue but it didn't work well. Because the government couldn't catch the point. They approached this issue very simply. They thought that if we give subsidy when the young people has a baby, then birth rate would be increased. But the policy was failed as we guessed.
Their life is too unstable to have a baby. If there is enough good qulity jobs then the birth rate can be increased naturally.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Ms. Lydia.

The implication of having an aging population means that the number of elder is much more that young people in this society. 
>>> The implication of having an aging population means that the number of elderly is much more that the young people in this society. 
From the government position, the income can be decreased for running the country and the youth labors are getting lower in the industry felid.
>>> From the government position, the income (government fund) can be decreased for running the country and the youth labors are getting lower in different field of industries.
In Korea, the birth rate has been declined for decades so the government introduced a range of policies to resolve this issue but it didn't work well. 
>>>  In Korea, the birth rate has been declining for decades so the government introduced a range of policies to resolve this issue but it didn't work well. 
Because the government couldn't catch the point. They approached this issue very simply. 
>>> Because the government couldn't identify the root cause, they approached this issue very simply/lightly/superficially.  
They thought that if we give subsidy when the young people has a baby, then birth rate would be increased. 
>>> They thought that if we give subsidy when the young people have a baby, the birth rate would be increased.  
But the policy was failed as we guessed.
>>>  However, the policy has failed as we have already expected.
Their life is too unstable to have a baby. 
>>>  Their lives are too unstable to have a baby. 
If there is enough good qulity jobs then the birth rate can be increased naturally.
>>>  If there are enough good quality jobs, then the birth rate can be increased naturally.
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