¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can Korean society be more diverse?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2025-06-17 332

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s culture. Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn¡¯t have many foreigners in it. If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Eugene!

Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s culture. 
>>>  correct  
>>> ORKorean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s cultures. 
Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn¡¯t have many foreigners in it. 
>>>    correct   
If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
>>>   If Korean society gathers foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood where everyone respects each other, we can make a more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
>>>  correct      
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other.
>>>    correct    
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143132 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143131 team sports and team work_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143130 The homework for 18th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 818
143129 team sports and team work_1 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143128 2025.03.19 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 791
143127 grammar check Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 5
143126 grammar check Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 6
143125 grammar check Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143124 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 978
143123 Celebrities can enjoy fame and wealth. What do you think are the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 780
143122 outward appearance ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 791
143121 Why do you want to have a pet ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 885
143120 First impression ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 768
143119 What do you think of gambling? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 853
143118 Try to study hard about industry value chain. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 989
143117 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1000
143116 Have you ever felt under the weather but still had to complete... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143115 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-18 1
143114 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-18 1082
143113 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-18 1025

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04