¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can Korean society be more diverse?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2025-06-17 127

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s culture. Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn¡¯t have many foreigners in it. If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Eugene!

Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s culture. 
>>>  correct  
>>> ORKorean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other¡¯s cultures. 
Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn¡¯t have many foreigners in it. 
>>>    correct   
If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
>>>   If Korean society gathers foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood where everyone respects each other, we can make a more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
>>>  correct      
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other.
>>>    correct    
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144241 0521 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144240 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 540
144239 Are you the type of person who would help someone who has passed... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144238 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 523
144237 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144236 What are some risks of embracing YOLO fully in life? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 491
144235 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 2
144234 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 511
144233 The homework of 22rd May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 602
144232 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 612
144231 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 637
144230 Do you feel safe when using the internet? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144229 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144228 dd ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144227 What do you think are the main reasons some people still... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 548
144226 Can a nation¡¯s economic policy influence its international... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 563
144225 What is the most popular amusement park in your country, and why... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 542
144224 What do you do if you can¡¯t reach a company¡¯s customer service? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144223 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144222 New4 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1139

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04