¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think makes a visitor feel welcome? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-06-19 140

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to make acquaintances or guests feel comfortable and welcome when they visit your home. There may be various ways to satisfy visitors. However, one of the most essential elements is heartfelt sincerity. Let's suppose that you are invited to someone's home. Even though you are served delicious food and given a perfect room for the night, you might still want to leave if the host displays unpleasant behavior such as being unkind and emotionally distant. Similarly, imagine that you are traveling to new places or countries. Although those attractions may fall short of your expectations and you are exposed to some uncomfortable situations, you may still remember the experience positively for a long time, if people there kindly welcome you and leave a positive impression. In conclusion, touching someone's heart is not about offering material things, but about showing genuine kindness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
There is a better way to express one idea in this composition.
Please review.
We can discuss later in class.
You did well again today.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
It is important to make acquaintances or guests feel comfortable and welcome when they visit your home. 
>> Correct
There may be various ways to satisfy visitors. 
>> There may be various ways to do that.
However, one of the most essential elements is heartfelt sincerity. 
>> Correct
Let's suppose that you are invited to someone's home. 
>> Correct
Even though you are served delicious food and given a perfect room for the night, you might still want to leave if the host displays unpleasant behavior such as being unkind and emotionally distant. 
>> Correct
Similarly, imagine that you are traveling to new places or countries. 
>> Correct
Although those attractions may fall short of your expectations and you are exposed to some uncomfortable situations, you may still remember the experience positively for a long time, if people there kindly welcome you and leave a positive impression. 
>> Correct
In conclusion, touching someone's heart is not about offering material things, but about showing genuine kindness.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144240 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 548
144239 Are you the type of person who would help someone who has passed... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144238 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 533
144237 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144236 What are some risks of embracing YOLO fully in life? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 495
144235 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 2
144234 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 514
144233 The homework of 22rd May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 609
144232 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 622
144231 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 639
144230 Do you feel safe when using the internet? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144229 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144228 dd ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144227 What do you think are the main reasons some people still... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 549
144226 Can a nation¡¯s economic policy influence its international... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 567
144225 What is the most popular amusement park in your country, and why... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 547
144224 What do you do if you can¡¯t reach a company¡¯s customer service? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144223 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144222 New4 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1154
144221 New3 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 554

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04