¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think makes a visitor feel welcome? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-06-19 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to make acquaintances or guests feel comfortable and welcome when they visit your home. There may be various ways to satisfy visitors. However, one of the most essential elements is heartfelt sincerity. Let's suppose that you are invited to someone's home. Even though you are served delicious food and given a perfect room for the night, you might still want to leave if the host displays unpleasant behavior such as being unkind and emotionally distant. Similarly, imagine that you are traveling to new places or countries. Although those attractions may fall short of your expectations and you are exposed to some uncomfortable situations, you may still remember the experience positively for a long time, if people there kindly welcome you and leave a positive impression. In conclusion, touching someone's heart is not about offering material things, but about showing genuine kindness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
There is a better way to express one idea in this composition.
Please review.
We can discuss later in class.
You did well again today.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
It is important to make acquaintances or guests feel comfortable and welcome when they visit your home. 
>> Correct
There may be various ways to satisfy visitors. 
>> There may be various ways to do that.
However, one of the most essential elements is heartfelt sincerity. 
>> Correct
Let's suppose that you are invited to someone's home. 
>> Correct
Even though you are served delicious food and given a perfect room for the night, you might still want to leave if the host displays unpleasant behavior such as being unkind and emotionally distant. 
>> Correct
Similarly, imagine that you are traveling to new places or countries. 
>> Correct
Although those attractions may fall short of your expectations and you are exposed to some uncomfortable situations, you may still remember the experience positively for a long time, if people there kindly welcome you and leave a positive impression. 
>> Correct
In conclusion, touching someone's heart is not about offering material things, but about showing genuine kindness.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143885 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 666
143884 What motivates you to save money? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 889
143883 Aside from your hometown, where do you think is the best place... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143882 How do you feel about the idea of a four-day work week? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 730
143881 1 Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 618
143880 The homework for 29th April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 689
143879 2025.04.28 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 910
143878 0428 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143877 healthy food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143876 apppeciation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 3
143875 vegetarian ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 4
143874 If you could change one thing about the location of your work,... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 0
143873 The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Paris ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 3
143872 What products does your country export the most, and what new... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 1
143871 What¡¯s your favorite season of the year? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 0
143870 Do you think remote working will be more common in the future? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 819
143869 If you could learn something new (anything), what would it be... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 758
143868 What are the current national issues that the next president... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 791
143867 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 3
143866 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 748

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04