¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of people are there in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-06-19 304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yale!

I'm glad to see you doing your homework again. I hope you're feeling much better overall. 

Here's your first corrected composition. Please go over the revisions given below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                          

                                      What kind of people are there in your city?


There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.
>>> There are many different kinds of people in my city; for example, doctors, office workers, police officers, and firefighters. My city is full of all kinds of people.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143037 Write the correct possessive pronoun ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143036 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1
143035 What is your opinion on online shopping? Have you ever had a... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143034 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 951
143033 Do you like reading books or watching movies more? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143032 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1070
143031 Do you often spend weekends with family or friends? Why or why... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143030 Can you think of a time when you or someone you know hit the... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 3
143029 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 870
143028 What places would you recommend for foreigners to visit in your... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 3
143027 work-life balance life ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 887
143026 reasons of work-life balance and how to have better life ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 968
143025 work life balance ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1019
143024 How will you tell your friend that the food she prepared for 2... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 899
143023 homework ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1153
143022 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 993
143021 Have you ever felt like you were burning the candle at both... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 4
143020 When do you ask for favors? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1
143019 The homework for 13th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 990
143018 Talk about a time when you cook with another person or other... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 876

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04