¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of people are there in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-06-19 96

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yale!

I'm glad to see you doing your homework again. I hope you're feeling much better overall. 

Here's your first corrected composition. Please go over the revisions given below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                          

                                      What kind of people are there in your city?


There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.
>>> There are many different kinds of people in my city; for example, doctors, office workers, police officers, and firefighters. My city is full of all kinds of people.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144183 Why are some people hesitant to give advice to others? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 0
144182 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 0
144181 If you can become a Disney character, which one are you going... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 772
144180 What¡¯s one thing people commonly overlook when expressing... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 495
144179 Do you think colon cleansing is an effective way to avoid... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 543
144178 Do you prefer cold weather or hot weather? Why? Á¶*¸® ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 611
144177 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 609
144176 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144175 Homework ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 0
144174 The homework for 19th May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 581
144173 Have you ever experienced misunderstandings during a... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 662
144172 What qualities make someone a good pet owner? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 526
144171 If you could do a job for one day to learn what it is like, what... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144170 In the future, will you let your child experience what you... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144169 2025.05.13 ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 621
144168 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144167 What are some way you continue improving your English on your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 586
144166 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 651
144165 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 668
144164 Do you watch games alone or with friends? How does that change... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04