무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-06-25 114

회원님의 영작문

I think the biggest impact of social media on our view toward ourselves is that it excessively adds comparison with others to our views. If there's no social media, we will mostly view ourselves through who we really are through our very own perspectives. However, social media force us to watch others' happy lives and as we get exposed to them consistently, this incorporate with pure view we had before. As view toward ourselves get intervened, we cannot properly think and judge about ourself. The comparisons are repeated on and on. Moreover, the most toxic thing is that once people's views change it is unlikely to put back because social media itself are intriguing, enticing to spend more and more time in online world. To sum up, I think social media have ruined how people view themselves.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Wooin! That's honestly true, and even when we know that most of what we see is just highlights or filters, it still affects us. Over time, that comparison just sneaks into our heads and changes the way we feel about who we are. Social media really does mess with how we see ourselves.
-T. Sonny 
I think the biggest impact of social media on our view toward ourselves is that it excessively adds comparison with others to our views. 
>>I think the biggest impact of social media on how we see ourselves is that it makes us compare ourselves to others too much.
If there's no social media, we will mostly view ourselves through who we really are through our very own perspectives. 
>>If there were no social media, we would mostly view ourselves based on who we truly are, through our own perspectives.
However, social media force us to watch others' happy lives and as we get exposed to them consistently, this incorporate with pure view we had before. 
>>However, social media constantly shows us other people’s happy lives, and as we’re repeatedly exposed to them, this mixes with the pure self-image we once had.
As view toward ourselves get intervened, we cannot properly think and judge about ourself. 
>>As our view of ourselves becomes influenced by others, it becomes harder to think clearly and judge ourselves fairly.
The comparisons are repeated on and on. 
>>The comparisons just keep happening over and over.
Moreover, the most toxic thing is that once people's views change it is unlikely to put back because social media itself are intriguing, enticing to spend more and more time in online world. 
>>What’s worse is that once people’s views of themselves change, it’s hard to go back, because social media is so engaging and tempting, making us want to spend more and more time in the online world.
To sum up, I think social media have ruined how people view themselves.
>>To sum up, I believe social media has ruined how people view themselves.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
144367 homework 김*연 완료 2025-05-29 1
144366 숙제 최*영 완료 2025-05-29 589
144365 >> What are your thoughts on the drinking culture in Korean... 김*일 완료 2025-05-29 560
144364 homework 김*우 완료 2025-05-29 1
144363 At would age would like to become independent from your parents?... 차*혁 완료 2025-05-29 523
144362 What are your thoughts on voice acting culture in China? 임* 완료 2025-05-29 2
144361 The economy is always an important issue. How is the Korean... 임* 완료 2025-05-29 0
144360 Why do people have hobbies? 여*찬 완료 2025-05-29 0
144359 What’s the most unusual souvenir you’ve ever seen? 이*훈 완료 2025-05-29 666
144358 Homework for today 엄*린 완료 2025-05-29 1
144357 When was the last time you realized that you are having \"bad... 이*희 완료 2025-05-29 466
144356 What skills would you like to learn in the future? Explain 조*수 완료 2025-05-29 525
144355 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-05-29 587
144354 Homework 이*은 완료 2025-05-29 2
144353 Homework 송*현 완료 2025-05-29 3
144352 (Homework) Are there funeral practices in your country that you... 김*영 완료 2025-05-29 486
144351 (Homework) Do you like meeting new people? 김*영 완료 2025-05-29 648
144350 Before, plastic surgery was a big issue, but now it is... 임*미 완료 2025-05-29 531
144349 (Homework) Where is your ideal place for a long vacation and why? 김*영 완료 2025-05-29 597
144348 0529 IELTS writing Task2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-05-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]