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작성자: 김*인
2025-06-25 165

회원님의 영작문

I think the biggest impact of social media on our view toward ourselves is that it excessively adds comparison with others to our views. If there's no social media, we will mostly view ourselves through who we really are through our very own perspectives. However, social media force us to watch others' happy lives and as we get exposed to them consistently, this incorporate with pure view we had before. As view toward ourselves get intervened, we cannot properly think and judge about ourself. The comparisons are repeated on and on. Moreover, the most toxic thing is that once people's views change it is unlikely to put back because social media itself are intriguing, enticing to spend more and more time in online world. To sum up, I think social media have ruined how people view themselves.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Wooin! That's honestly true, and even when we know that most of what we see is just highlights or filters, it still affects us. Over time, that comparison just sneaks into our heads and changes the way we feel about who we are. Social media really does mess with how we see ourselves.
-T. Sonny 
I think the biggest impact of social media on our view toward ourselves is that it excessively adds comparison with others to our views. 
>>I think the biggest impact of social media on how we see ourselves is that it makes us compare ourselves to others too much.
If there's no social media, we will mostly view ourselves through who we really are through our very own perspectives. 
>>If there were no social media, we would mostly view ourselves based on who we truly are, through our own perspectives.
However, social media force us to watch others' happy lives and as we get exposed to them consistently, this incorporate with pure view we had before. 
>>However, social media constantly shows us other people’s happy lives, and as we’re repeatedly exposed to them, this mixes with the pure self-image we once had.
As view toward ourselves get intervened, we cannot properly think and judge about ourself. 
>>As our view of ourselves becomes influenced by others, it becomes harder to think clearly and judge ourselves fairly.
The comparisons are repeated on and on. 
>>The comparisons just keep happening over and over.
Moreover, the most toxic thing is that once people's views change it is unlikely to put back because social media itself are intriguing, enticing to spend more and more time in online world. 
>>What’s worse is that once people’s views of themselves change, it’s hard to go back, because social media is so engaging and tempting, making us want to spend more and more time in the online world.
To sum up, I think social media have ruined how people view themselves.
>>To sum up, I believe social media has ruined how people view themselves.
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