¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s safer to travel now than in the past?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2025-06-26 35

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's safer to travel now than in the past.
The influence of Korea is higher than in the past, so it has more influence on other counrties, so you can travel much more safely. In particular, the level of Korea is so high that the word passport power has been newly coined.
Also, with the development of the internet or electronic devices, a lot of information about travel can be obtained, and travel alerts can be issued in real time depending on the situation of the country you are trying to travel to, making it safer.
But now, I don't think it's safe in another way than in the past. To be clear, there are more complicated problems than in the past. For example, sudden situation can occur because the situation changes rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello,

Yun, you did a great job expressing your ideas clearly and thoughtfully in this writing. You made some excellent points, especially about how Korea¡¯s growing influence and ¡°passport power¡± have made it easier and safer for Korean citizens to travel abroad. That was a really insightful observation, and it shows your awareness of global affairs, something I admire, especially coming from someone who serves in the army.

You also did well explaining how technology helps keep travelers safe through real-time information and alerts. That¡¯s a very practical and relevant point, and you explained it in a way that¡¯s easy to understand.

What stood out most to me was how you acknowledged both sides, that even though travel is safer in many ways, the world has also become more complex. That kind of balanced thinking shows maturity and critical thinking. I really appreciate your perspective, and I can tell you're someone who considers not just the obvious, but also the deeper realities of a situation.

Keep it up, Yun!  You¡¯re doing very well!

 

I think it's safer to travel now than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe traveling is safer now than it used to be.

The influence of Korea is higher than in the past, so it has more influence on other countries, so you can travel much more safely.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Korea's global influence is stronger than in the past, which helps make travel to other countries safer for Koreans.

In particular, the level of Korea is so high that the word passport power has been newly coined.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In particular, Korea's global standing is so high that the term 'passport power' has been coined.

Also, with the development of the internet or electronic devices, a lot of information about travel can be obtained, and travel alerts can be issued in real time depending on the situation of the country you are trying to travel to, making it safer.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Also, with the development of the internet and electronic devices, it's easier to access travel information. Real-time travel alerts can also be issued based on the situation in the country you're planning to visit, making travel safer.

But now, I don't think it's safe in another way than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>But now, I think it's unsafe in a different way compared to the past.

To be clear, there are more complicated problems than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>To be clear, there are more complex problems now than there were in the past.

For example, sudden situation can occur because the situation changes rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

>>For example, sudden situations can occur because conditions change rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144956 What three (3) adjectives best describe your personality?... ¼Õ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 12
144955 The homework for 2nd July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 13
144954 this ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144953 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144952 What does a happy life look like? What would you need to do to... ÃÖ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 22
144951 How frequently should someone meditate to experience the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 24
144950 Advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 18
144949 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 14
144948 6/26 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 17
144947 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 6
144946 What does a holiday mean to you? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144945 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 3
144944 What\'s your favorite book? Who\'s your favorite author? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 11
144943 What\'s the most frightening in the world? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 9
144942 What are the things that anger you and why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 10
144941 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 18
144940 Have you ever felt discouraged at work? What would have helped? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144939 Do you think team-building activities can help reduce workplace... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144938 Writing homework ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 16
144937 How do you order food in English? ¼Õ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04