¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s safer to travel now than in the past?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2025-06-26 124

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's safer to travel now than in the past.
The influence of Korea is higher than in the past, so it has more influence on other counrties, so you can travel much more safely. In particular, the level of Korea is so high that the word passport power has been newly coined.
Also, with the development of the internet or electronic devices, a lot of information about travel can be obtained, and travel alerts can be issued in real time depending on the situation of the country you are trying to travel to, making it safer.
But now, I don't think it's safe in another way than in the past. To be clear, there are more complicated problems than in the past. For example, sudden situation can occur because the situation changes rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello,

Yun, you did a great job expressing your ideas clearly and thoughtfully in this writing. You made some excellent points, especially about how Korea¡¯s growing influence and ¡°passport power¡± have made it easier and safer for Korean citizens to travel abroad. That was a really insightful observation, and it shows your awareness of global affairs, something I admire, especially coming from someone who serves in the army.

You also did well explaining how technology helps keep travelers safe through real-time information and alerts. That¡¯s a very practical and relevant point, and you explained it in a way that¡¯s easy to understand.

What stood out most to me was how you acknowledged both sides, that even though travel is safer in many ways, the world has also become more complex. That kind of balanced thinking shows maturity and critical thinking. I really appreciate your perspective, and I can tell you're someone who considers not just the obvious, but also the deeper realities of a situation.

Keep it up, Yun!  You¡¯re doing very well!

 

I think it's safer to travel now than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe traveling is safer now than it used to be.

The influence of Korea is higher than in the past, so it has more influence on other countries, so you can travel much more safely.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Korea's global influence is stronger than in the past, which helps make travel to other countries safer for Koreans.

In particular, the level of Korea is so high that the word passport power has been newly coined.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In particular, Korea's global standing is so high that the term 'passport power' has been coined.

Also, with the development of the internet or electronic devices, a lot of information about travel can be obtained, and travel alerts can be issued in real time depending on the situation of the country you are trying to travel to, making it safer.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Also, with the development of the internet and electronic devices, it's easier to access travel information. Real-time travel alerts can also be issued based on the situation in the country you're planning to visit, making travel safer.

But now, I don't think it's safe in another way than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>But now, I think it's unsafe in a different way compared to the past.

To be clear, there are more complicated problems than in the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>To be clear, there are more complex problems now than there were in the past.

For example, sudden situation can occur because the situation changes rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

>>For example, sudden situations can occur because conditions change rapidly in real time depending on the international situation.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144106 Do you like shopping? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144105 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 0
144104 In your view, is it possible to have both a fulfilling career... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 732
144103 Should car manufacturers be required to install alcohol... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 726
144102 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 689
144101 Can you tell me about an unforgettable thing that you have seen?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 671
144100 Is it always good to take \"emergency medicines\"? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144099 What hobbies do men prefer? Which hobbies do women especially... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 3
144098 How can companies protect their customers¡¯ data from being... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 0
144097 Yes, I have seen a shark. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 737
144096 Is taking up a new hobby important in life? Why? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 4
144095 0513 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 0
144094 In what ways has technology changed how your family interacts? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 720
144093 The homework for 14th May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 637
144092 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 0
144091 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 605
144090 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144089 Do you believe that a home reflects a person\'s identiy,... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 645
144088 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 620
144087 Jeny! ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 662

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04