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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Tell me about a time you tried a new or foreign food.

작성자: 정*영
2025-06-30 165

회원님의 영작문

When we finished our wedding march, we went to the our honeymoon to bali.
The island is very beautiful place, which is famous for ocean, culture and food.
During our stay here, we had such a good time to relaxing our body.
We were very satisfied except for food. Because almost indonesian food smell like unfriendly to us, and then my husband said that their soup is short of some ingredient. Usually we were interested tryinn other foreign food, but this time we couldn't get interested that food.
If have a chance to go bali one more time, maybe we challenge to try other food except for soup.
Thanks for reading my essay.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Gloria!

Thank you so much for sharing this special memory! First of all, congratulations on your recent wedding. I’m so happy for you! You did a great job telling your story clearly, and I could feel your honesty and personality in your writing. I liked how you described Bali with kind words like “beautiful place” and mentioned its culture, ocean, and food; that helped paint a picture in the reader’s mind. You also expressed your opinion naturally and gave personal details about your experience, which is really important in speaking or writing tasks like the OPIc. It’s completely okay to say you didn’t enjoy the food; that’s part of what makes your story unique and relatable! You and your husband’s reaction made me smile, and I appreciate that you still showed an open mind about possibly trying other dishes in the future. Keep practicing using the past tense when telling stories like this, and try adding more feelings or descriptions next time, like “I felt surprised” or “the flavor was too strong for me.” These little touches will make your story feel even more complete. You’re doing well, and I can tell you’re working hard. Keep sharing your ideas just like this; you’re improving every time!

~Teacher Cathy

 

When we finished our wedding march, we went to the our honeymoon to bali.

>>After our wedding in March, we went on our honeymoon to Bali.

The island is very beautiful place, which is famous for ocean, culture and food.

>>The island is a very beautiful place, which is famous for its ocean, culture, and food.

During our stay here, we had such a good time to relaxing our body.

>>During our stay there, we had such a good time relaxing our bodies.

We were very satisfied except for food.

>>We were very satisfied, except for the food.

Because almost indonesian food smell like unfriendly to us, and then my husband said that their soup is short of some ingredient.

>>Almost all Indonesian food smelled unfamiliar to us, and my husband said that their soup was missing some ingredients.

Usually we were interested tryinn other foreign food, but this time we couldn't get interested that food.

>>Usually, we are interested in trying other foreign foods, but this time we couldn't get interested in that food.

If have a chance to go bali one more time, maybe we challenge to try other food except for soup.

>>If we have a chance to go to Bali one more time, maybe we’ll challenge ourselves to try other foods except for the soup.

Thanks for reading my essay.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Thank you for reading this essay.

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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04

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