¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-07-06 73

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK: At what age would you like to retire?

In honestly, i wanna retire in 70 years old.
Some People say that you save money until 55 years old, and then retire 60 years old. After that, you have to increase your saved money by investing stocks or bit coins. But these method so dangerous. I have seen many people who consume their money for meaningless. With great power comes great responsibility. I don't want to take big responsibility. I just have peaceful retire life.
So, to that end, i really need longer working time, special skill, and lots of money.
In my case, my appropriate retirement season is 70 years old.
I have personal wish. i wonder that i get a job asap for my fast end :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Alex!
I appreciate your time writing your composition~ I read them all, and 70 is quite a long wait for me... If I had the choice, I would like to retire now HAHAHAH... But yeah, we need to consider our  capability in sustaining our needs before we think of retiring... hahaha
Chammy
In honestly, i wanna retire in 70 years old.
>> In honesty, I would like to retire at 70 years old.
Some People say that you save money until 55 years old, and then retire 60 years old.
>> Some people say that you have to save money until 55 years old, then retire at 60.
 After that, you have to increase your saved money by investing stocks or bit coins.
>> After that, you have to increase your savings by investing in stocks and bitcoins.
 But these method so dangerous. I have seen many people who consume their money for meaningless.
>> But these methods are risky. I have seen many people who spent their money on meaningless things.
 With great power comes great responsibility. I don't want to take big responsibility. I just have peaceful retire life.
>> With great power comes great responsibility, but no one likes big responsibilities. In my case, I just want to have a peaceful retirement.
So, to that end, i really need longer working time, special skill, and lots of money.
>> So at the end, I really need to work longer, acquire special skills, and make a lot of money.
In my case, my appropriate retirement season is 70 years old.
>> For me, the appropriate retirement age is 70 years old.
I have personal wish. i wonder that i get a job asap for my fast end :)
>> I have a personal wish, but I wonder if I could get a job to expedite reaching my goal.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144589 Why do some people avoid eye contact when greeting? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 0
144588 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 127
144587 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 136
144586 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 0
144585 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 140
144584 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 2
144583 About the fruits ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 4
144582 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 148
144581 Talk about the most recent article or news that you have read or... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 142
144580 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 0
144579 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 134
144578 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 148
144577 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 134
144576 What food did you try when you went to Hungary? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 116
144575 In your opinion, what can be done to prevent wars from breaking... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 110
144574 What are some ways companies contribute to helping society?... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 163
144573 In what situation do you consider that your chances are slim? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 140
144572 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 2
144571 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 1
144570 should we preserve the traditions and practices during big... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-12 361

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04