무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Writing homework

작성자: 박*원
2025-07-08 2

회원님의 영작문



Hi, Gemma. How can I broaden my words. It's still hard to me. But I hope it will be better after 2 weeks. See you Wednesday :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Ji Won! Thanks for your essay.  I know you're always trying your best to study IELTS. Keep on! Memorize vocabulary and useful expressions too. See you!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA

It is a common belief that the government must ensure the well-being of the environment.

>>> GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT~!^^ GOOD JOB!


 However, there is a more persuasive argument that the residents are responsible for the environment because how to use environmental resources plays a crucial role in conserving ecosystems.

REVISED:  However, there is a more persuasive argument that the residents are responsible for the environment because the way environmental resources are used plays a crucial role in conserving ecosystems.


Original: "because how to use environmental resources plays a crucial role"

Correction: "because the way environmental resources are used plays a crucial role"

Reason: The phrase was grammatically awkward.


On the one hand, some environment needs the government’s attention because of the extent of the nature.

REVISED: On the one hand, some aspects of the environment need the government’s attention because of the extent of the nature.

"some environment needs the government’s attention" → should be "some aspects of the environment need the government’s attention"


 For example, in the case of the mountain, prevention of forest fire and protection of wild animals, trees and other nature are require significant exertion.

REVISED:  For example, in the case of the mountain, prevention of forest fire and protection of wild animals, trees and other nature require significant exertion.

are require significant exertion → require significant effort (omit 'are')


 They can’t be managed by just individual’s effort.

REVISED: They can’t be managed by individual efforts alone.


 In addition, the government must suggest guidelines for people not to harm any nature resources. 

REVISED:  In addition,  the government must establish guidelines to prevent harm to natural resources.


Without restrictions, nature will be led to serious consequences in the short future due to limited resources.

REVISED: Without restrictions, nature will face serious consequences in the near future due to limited resources.

be led to” → changed to “face” (more natural verb choice).

in the short future” → should be “in the near future” (standard expression).


On the other hand, I support the idea that people who use the environment have essential roles in managing. 

REVISED: On the other hand, I support the idea that people who use the environment play an essential role in managing it.

Added “it” at the end to clarify what is being managed.


In fact, it is impossible to preserve ecosystem without individual’s attention to it. 

REVISED: In fact, it is impossible to preserve the ecosystem without individuals’ attention.

“individual’s attention” → should be plural possessive “individuals’ attention”.


To be specific, water pollution is getting critical nowadays.

REVISED: To be specific, water pollution has become a critical issue nowadays.

“is getting critical” → awkward phrasing → changed to “has become a critical issue.”


 This is mainly due to the lack of awareness in environmental contamination from people who go on trips to sea.

REVISED: This is mainly due to a lack of awareness about environmental contamination among people who go on trips to the sea.

“the lack” → “a lack” is better when introducing the idea for the first time.

“awareness in” → should be “awareness about” (correct preposition).

“to sea” → should be “to the sea” (missing article).

“from people” → changed to “among people” (preposition agreement with "awareness").


 They usually tend to leave their garbage in the beaches.

REVISED: They often leave their garbage on the beaches.


 Of course, these trashes have a negative impact on the nature.

REVISED: Of course, this trash has a negative impact on nature.

“trashes” → incorrect (uncountable noun) → should be “trash.”

on the nature” → should be “on nature” (no article needed).


Actually, the best way to preserve the environment is to let people obey the rules that don’t damage on the nature.

REVISED: Actually, the best way to preserve the environment is to encourage people to follow rules that do not harm nature.

“let people obey the rules” → awkward; improved with “encourage people to follow rules.”

“don’t damage on the nature” → grammatically wrong → correct phrase is “do not harm nature.”


To sum up, while it is apparent that the government should take care of the environment, it is undeniable that individuals must play vital roles in conserving the nature.

REVISED: To sum up, while it is apparent that the government should take care of the environment, it is undeniable that individuals must play a vital role in conserving nature
“play vital roles” → better as “play a vital role” for clarity and style
“the nature” → incorrect article use → should be “nature.”

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
144937 How do you order food in English? 손*영 완료 2025-07-04 6
144936 Do you think your workplace provides enough safety training? Why... 신*규 완료 2025-07-04 18
144935 ㅣㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-07-04 13
144934 What\'s your favorite thing about your home? Why? 이*윤 완료 2025-07-04 17
144933 ㅣㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-07-04 12
144932 I don\'t like horror movie. 유*빈 완료 2025-07-04 11
144931 What are the benefits of playing sports? 조*수 완료 2025-07-04 17
144930 How does tourism help the local economy? 정*영 완료 2025-07-04 19
144929 Homework for today 엄*린 완료 2025-07-04 1
144928 2025.07.04 이*정 완료 2025-07-04 16
144927 H 송*현 완료 2025-07-04 2
144926 overcome 민*정 완료 2025-07-04 1
144925 Problem solving 김*진 완료 2025-07-04 12
144924 ㅣㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-07-04 19
144923 Homework 김*진 완료 2025-07-04 0
144922 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-07-04 11
144921 What are the possible causes for having a vice? 여*찬 완료 2025-07-03 0
144920 homework 김*우 완료 2025-07-03 1
144919 Writing homework 박*원 완료 2025-07-03 15
144918 No, not all parents who feed their children junk food are... 손*아 완료 2025-07-03 17

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]