¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about a teacher who had a strong influence on you. What did you learn form him or her?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-07-08 143

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I met one person who was a teacher during my military service. He had taught physical education in middle school before serving his service. Therefore, he didn't teach me firsthand. he was eight years older than me, which was an uncommon case, since most men in Korea usually serve their duty in the early of 20s. He was my enlistment buddy, which was truly fortunate for me. Whenever I had a hard time dealing with problems related to tasks and relationships, he provided sincere consolations and effective solutions. Although he was much older than me, he felt like close friend rather than authoritative teacher. Thanks to his help, I could overcome difficult situations and complete my military service successfully. Even now, I keep in touch with him from time to time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
Great job with painting a picture of your story.
It makes me understand what you experienced.
Take note of the usual expressions I included.
Review them and we'll discuss them later.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I met one person who was a teacher during my military service. 
>> Correct
He had taught physical education in middle school before serving his service. 
>> He had taught physical education in middle school before serving in the military.
Therefore, he didn't teach me firsthand. 
>> Correct
he was eight years older than me, which was an uncommon case, since most men in Korea usually serve their duty in the early of 20s. 
>> He was eight years older than me, which was unusual, since most men in Korea usually serve their military duty in their early 20s.
He was my enlistment buddy, which was truly fortunate for me. 
>> Correct
Whenever I had a hard time dealing with problems related to tasks and relationships, he provided sincere consolations and effective solutions. 
>> Correct
Although he was much older than me, he felt like close friend rather than authoritative teacher. 
>> Although he was much older than me, he felt like a close friend rather than an authoritative teacher. 
Thanks to his help, I could overcome difficult situations and complete my military service successfully. 
>> Correct
Even now, I keep in touch with him from time to time.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144254 Should children be allowed to use the internet freely? why? or... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 619
144253 Describe a friend\'s personality and why you enjoy spending time... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 665
144252 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 698
144251 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 642
144250 HOEMWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 0
144249 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 629
144248 D6 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-23 701
144247 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144246 Do you think survey results can really help companies or... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144245 Should the government of Greece renovate the Acropolis to... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144244 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144243 What is the best animated Hally Wood movie you\'ve ever watched... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 699
144242 Can people easily buy medicine at Korean pharmacies even without... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 583
144241 0521 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144240 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 594
144239 Are you the type of person who would help someone who has passed... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144238 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 619
144237 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144236 What are some risks of embracing YOLO fully in life? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 596
144235 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04