¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people today are more stressed at work than in the past? why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*¿µ
2025-07-08 88

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think these days people have a lot of types of job.
So,they can choose their job what they want to.Except me.
According to an article, many young people quit their job easily.
In my opinion, The reason is that they doesn¡¯t need to patience,like hard work or situations that they can¡¯t endure.
I believe this phenomenone is not bad.
I feel like our health is more important than other ones these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Stella, 
As always, thank you for taking the time to respond to this essay. 😊
I agree with you, health is the most important aspect of our lives.
We should take good care of ourselves and always prioritize our health.
See you in a bit! 😊
- Teacher Elly~


I think these days people have a lot of types of job.
>> I think these days, people have many different types of jobs.

So,they can choose their job what they want to.Except me.
>> So they can choose the job they want, except me.

According to an article, many young people quit their job easily.
>> 
According to an article, many young people quit their jobs easily.

In my opinion, The reason is that they doesn¡¯t need to patience,like hard work or situations that they can¡¯t endure.
>> 
In my opinion, the reason is that they don't have patience for hard work or difficult situations.

I believe this phenomenone is not bad.
>> I believe this phenomenon is not bad.

I feel like our health is more important than other ones these days.
>> I feel like our health is more important than anything else these days.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144463 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 324
144462 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 331
144461 Do you believe animals experience trauma the same way humans do? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 294
144460 Homework ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 3
144459 Do you think subtitles should always be available in movies and... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 3
144458 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 269
144457 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 278
144456 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 1
144455 0604 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144454 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144453 What does \"YOLO\" signify to you? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 291
144452 Describe a time when teamwork failed. What lessons did you learn? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144451 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 2
144450 Do you think all information on websites are true? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144449 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 261
144448 What is your favorite place in Korea that was built for someone?... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 282
144447 No, I don\'t want to have a pet. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 384
144446 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 2
144445 introvert ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 1
144444 Do you think technology makes life easier or more complicated?... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 357

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04