¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-07-10 278

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good night's sleep!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                              


                                Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.



My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.
>>> The best weekends are when I get to travel. It¡¯s the perfect mix of fun and joy. 
>>> OR: Traveling over the weekend helps me unwind while exploring something new - pure joy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143331 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 977
143330 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 958
143329 No, I\'m not a creative person. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1101
143328 Now that you have already retired from work, what makes your day... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1065
143327 Change topic ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 982
143326 What is one famous tourist attraction in another country that... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1
143325 What are the most common problems in electric cars? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1058
143324 What kinds of personality traits do you hate? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1067
143323 Do you think money can make people happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 874
143322 perks ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1058
143321 Homework for 31. Mar. À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1168
143320 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1012
143319 What kind of workmates do you want to work with? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1043
143318 Do you think traditions should be preserved and maintained? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1030
143317 Why is it(not) advisable to follow a strict schedule ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 1062
143316 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 962
143315 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-31 981
143314 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-30 931
143313 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-30 1130
143312 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-30 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04