¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-07-10 98

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good night's sleep!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                              


                                Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.



My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.
>>> The best weekends are when I get to travel. It¡¯s the perfect mix of fun and joy. 
>>> OR: Traveling over the weekend helps me unwind while exploring something new - pure joy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144403 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 455
144402 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1
144401 Homework ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 0
144400 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1
144399 What can younger people learn from spending more time with older... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 456
144398 Do you prefer small gatherings or big celebrations? Why? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 807
144397 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 450
144396 D8 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 439
144395 Homework ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1
144394 What do you consider to be your weakness? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 3
144393 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 579
144392 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 512
144391 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 499
144390 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 1
144389 How are hobbies now different from hobbies in the past? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 1
144388 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 1
144387 What type of test is easy for you to answer? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 0
144386 What is the most useful exercise you can think of? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-01 480
144385 How do you feel about traveling alone? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-31 1
144384 Why are older adults often assumed to be uninterested in... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-31 536

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04