¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In 3-5 sentences, talk about your most unforgettable summer experience.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2025-07-10 25

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Twenty years ago, I went to the beach with my sister and her family. On the way back home, a guy fell down in front of my brother-in-law's car, before he was hit by the car. The man was drunk, and he couldn't move. We called police officers, because he wanted. After the police officers arrived, women who were on a bus, shouted at them "The car didn't hit him, He fell down himself". We got back home without any problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Hwanny! ^^,)

Your story is indeed memorable because it was an unfortunate incident. Thankfully, it ended well for you and your sister's family.

Being ready and flexible is a good idea because unexpected things can happen at any time. Keeping an optimistic and adaptable attitude is essential while dealing with the unexpected. You can respond more skillfully to unforeseen circumstances if you are aware of your surroundings and potential hazards. 

Thank you so much for this composition.^^

__T. Mayleen :)


Twenty years ago, I went to the beach with my sister and her family.
>>> CORRECT
On the way back home, a guy fell down in front of my brother-in-law's car, before he was hit by the car.
>>> On our way back home, a guy fell down in front of my brother-in-law's car before he was hit by the car.
The man was drunk, and he couldn't move.
>>> CORRECT
We called police officers, because he wanted. After the police officers arrived, women who were on a bus, shouted at them "The car didn't hit him, He fell down himself".
>>> We called the police because he wanted to. After the police officers arrived, women who were on a bus shouted at them, "The car didn't hit him; he fell down himself."
We got back home without any problems.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144789 What makes you trust a product or a brand? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-26 0
144788 self-reflection ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-26 2
144787 6/18 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-26 53
144786 6/23 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-26 49
144785 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-26 79
144784 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 43
144783 What¡¯s the most recent thing you did that improved your mood? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 62
144782 Why is it important for children to spend time with adults?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 68
144781 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 50
144780 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 1
144779 What are the rules you usually break and why? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 1
144778 E ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 69
144777 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 57
144776 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 73
144775 I have a brother. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 48
144774 Is physical health more important than mental health or vice... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 67
144773 If you could change one thing about your warehouse what would it... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 52
144772 Homework ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 2
144771 Do you prefer taking pictures with a phone or a camera? Why? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 85
144770 I am a sociable person ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 81

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04