¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

07/11 Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-07-11 201

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) How did you feel when you finished your military service?
A) I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997. I served in the military far from home. Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there. Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier. I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter. My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point. The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation. The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it. Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sungho. You did a wonderful job sharing your personal experience and your honest thoughts about military service. You explained your ideas clearly and gave reasons for your opinion, which shows strong thinking and writing skills. There were a few grammar mistakes, but your meaning was always clear. Keep practicing longer and more detailed writing like this because it helps you build confidence and fluency. I will always do my best to help you fix mistakes, learn from them, and become more comfortable expressing complex ideas in English. You are making good progress, so keep going and don¡¯t give up.

~ T. Lia

I served military service 2 years and 2 months starting in 1995 and finished in 1997.
>> CORRECT

I served in the military far from home.
>> CORRECT

Now that the highway has been opened the time has been greatly short, but when I was serving in the military it took 8 hours by bus to get there.
>> Now that the highway is open, the travel time is much shorter, but when I was serving in the military, it took 8 hours by bus to get there.

Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn't too difficult because I was a soldier belonging to headquarters and not a combat soldier.
>> Yanggu, Gangwon-do was close to North Korea, but it wasn¡¯t too difficult because I was a soldier in headquarters and not a combat soldier.

I think I finished my military service without much difficult except for the cold winter.
>> I think I finished my military service without much difficulty, except for the cold winter.

My opinion on the military are that has both good and bad point.
>> My opinion on the military is that it has both good and bad points.

The good thing is to learn patience, communication, and cooperation.
>> The good part is that you learn patience, communication, and cooperation.

The bad thing is wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.
>> The bad part is that I wasted 26 months of my youth when I should have been enjoying it.

Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time I think it would be a good idea to introduce a volunteer military service system rather than a mandatory.
>> Korea is a divided country, but considering that there has been no war for a long time, I think it would be a good idea to introduce a voluntary military service system rather than a mandatory one.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143818 massage with tools ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-25 846
143817 What is the most popular sport in your country? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-25 1
143816 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-25 1
143815 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-25 960
143814 4/24 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-25 1
143813 Should high-paying jobs be taxed more to support low-income... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 932
143812 Do you think people will ever stop using bicycles? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1038
143811 What\'s the most famous major body of water. Write some facts... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1197
143810 How can you politely ask someone to resend an attachment if they... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 0
143809 Do you think remote working will be more common in the future?... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 968
143808 If Korea pushes through with the plan on boosting the animation... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1018
143807 In two sentences, what is your preferred mode of transportation,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 821
143806 What is the strangest thing you\'ve ever found in your pocket? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 787
143805 The homework for 24th April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 815
143804 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143803 The saddest time I had as a kid ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 868
143802 Do you ever find it hard to throw things away because they have... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143801 What is your favorite novel? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 987
143800 How might this impeachment influence future presidential... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1054
143799 Why is it important for everyone to learn how to use technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1144

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04