무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can the government rebuild trust with the medical community while pushing needed reforms? What s

작성자: 김*경
2025-07-15 231

회원님의 영작문

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system. For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further. Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients. Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset. Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Steve, 

Thanks for sharing your insights. I agree with all of it. 

Nice one!


-Teacher Ash

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. 

>>> The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push for its medical reform plan. 


The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system.

>>> CORRECT!


 For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

>>> For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.


If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further.

>>> CORRECT!


 Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients.

>>> Moreover, doctors need to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and their patients.


 Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset.

>>> The responsibility also lies with the doctors' mindset.


 Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

>>> CORRECT!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143306 3/19 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-03-30 0
143305 3/18 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-03-30 0
143304 what\'s the best ocean animal in the world? Why? 차*혁 완료 2025-03-30 774
143303 3/17 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-03-30 0
143302 Expressing sincere gratitude 최*영 완료 2025-03-30 1
143301 My new activity 최*영 완료 2025-03-29 1027
143300 Sad music 한*원 완료 2025-03-29 922
143299 Can you describe your favorite singer or musician? 윤*원 완료 2025-03-29 0
143298 Do you think climate change is making wildfires worse? Why or... 윤*원 완료 2025-03-29 0
143297 Do you think younger generations in Korea have a different view... 윤*원 완료 2025-03-29 0
143296 What is one famous tourist attraction in another country that... 윤*원 완료 2025-03-29 0
143295 Is music important? Why or why not? 이*윤 완료 2025-03-28 979
143294 HOMEWORK 3/28 김*솔 완료 2025-03-28 960
143293 I think happiness a choice. 유*빈 완료 2025-03-28 909
143292 today 조*희 완료 2025-03-28 891
143291 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-03-28 764
143290 Can you trust a friend again after they have betrayed you? 이*희 완료 2025-03-28 1053
143289 Why do some people handle waiting better than others? 이*태 완료 2025-03-28 1162
143288 Talk about the best food that you\'ve eaten at a restaurant. 이*태 완료 2025-03-28 937
143287 What would you do if you had more free time? 이*태 완료 2025-03-28 881

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]