무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can the government rebuild trust with the medical community while pushing needed reforms? What s

작성자: 김*경
2025-07-15 74

회원님의 영작문

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system. For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further. Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients. Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset. Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Steve, 

Thanks for sharing your insights. I agree with all of it. 

Nice one!


-Teacher Ash

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. 

>>> The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push for its medical reform plan. 


The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system.

>>> CORRECT!


 For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

>>> For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.


If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further.

>>> CORRECT!


 Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients.

>>> Moreover, doctors need to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and their patients.


 Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset.

>>> The responsibility also lies with the doctors' mindset.


 Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

>>> CORRECT!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
144694 What was the best dining experience you had? 김*현 완료 2025-06-20 3
144693 wish to be an actor 권*미 완료 2025-06-20 164
144692 0619 IELTS writing Task1 homework 송*유 완료 2025-06-19 0
144691 Why is your arm in a cast? Write about it. 차*진 완료 2025-06-19 179
144690 What do older kids enjoy playing with the most? Explain. 차*진 완료 2025-06-19 229
144689 What kind of people are there in your city? 차*진 완료 2025-06-19 165
144688 homework 김*우 완료 2025-06-19 1
144687 When was the last time you went to the beach? What activities... 김*환 완료 2025-06-19 203
144686 ㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-06-19 182
144685 숙제 최*영 완료 2025-06-19 183
144684 Homework 이*은 완료 2025-06-19 1
144683 What stories about your best friend would you like to share? 차*혁 완료 2025-06-19 149
144682 ㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-06-19 193
144681 What kind of support do you think single-person households might... 여*찬 완료 2025-06-19 0
144680 Smiling 민*기 완료 2025-06-19 1
144679 What do you think makes a visitor feel welcome? Explain. 조*수 완료 2025-06-19 246
144678 Aside from the language barrier, what challenges did you face as... 이*훈 완료 2025-06-19 165
144677 What other cultural practices do you do in the Summer? 이*희 완료 2025-06-19 186
144676 What do you think companies could do to keep their staff from... 이*태 완료 2025-06-19 203
144675 What is the importance of taking care of nature? What can we do... 이*태 완료 2025-06-19 221

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]