¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you like to live an a farm an grow vegetables? Explain your answer?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-07-22 165

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes I am, I want to grow vegetables an farm because vegetables is very tasty.
So I want to grow my vegetables.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your first corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                              


                                    Would you be willing to move Japan? Why?


I don't move to Japan because Japan is many attacks my country I'm very hate Japan.
So I don't want to move Japan.
>>> I don¡¯t want to move to Japan because my country has experienced many attacks from Japan, and I feel strongly against it.
>>> OR: My country has faced difficult times because of Japan, and that¡¯s why I¡¯m reluctant to move there.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144001 If you could build your dream city, what would be in it? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 2
144000 opic questions ¼®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 958
143999 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 937
143998 clean ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 2
143997 food waste ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 1
143996 To change my husband\'s decision ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 708
143995 H.W Àü*Çâ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 812
143994 Homework / 20250507 ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 2
143993 This year, our product start mass production ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 1006
143992 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 827
143991 What is the importance of friends? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 0
143990 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 913
143989 What do you always buy in stores, even if you can make it? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 1
143988 What are your strengths? Do you think you are consistent? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 2
143987 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 1100
143986 converation1 °í*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 0
143985 Which disaster do you fear most? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 980
143984 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 1
143983 Homework ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 0
143982 5/1 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-07 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04