¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Page 6

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-07-23 143

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Where is it best for you to stay over?

It is best for me to stay over my own room.
Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself

2. When was the last time you stayed over at your friend's house?

Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
We just happy to talking each other.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
I will go to her house next month again!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Nicole. 
Below are some corrections for your composition. Keep learning!
-Teacher Jessa
It is best for me to stay over my own room. Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
>>It¡¯s best for me to stay in my own room because I need time for myself every day.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
>>Being alone helps me stay calm and think about what I said or did during the day.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself.
>>It¡¯s also a great way for me to strengthen myself.
Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
>>Last summer vacation, I visited my university friend¡¯s hometown with a few other friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
>>We played a lot of games and enjoyed delicious food!
We just happy to talking each other.
>>We were just happy to talk and spend time together.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
>>We went to bed very late because we didn¡¯t notice how much time had passed.
I will go to her house next month again!
>>I¡¯m planning to visit her house again next month!








¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144170 In the future, will you let your child experience what you... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144169 2025.05.13 ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 865
144168 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1
144167 What are some way you continue improving your English on your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 850
144166 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 1000
144165 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-19 918
144164 Do you watch games alone or with friends? How does that change... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 2
144163 What advice would you give to someone who is about to graduate? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 1
144162 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living with my... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 1
144161 Where do you think is the best playground in the world?Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 957
144160 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 0
144159 Do you compare prices when you go shopping? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 0
144158 5/8 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 0
144157 5/9 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 0
144156 5/12 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-18 0
144155 5/13 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 0
144154 Should landlords be allowed to increase rent every year? Or,... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 860
144153 Do doctors have a duty to serve the country before their... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 1016
144152 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 897
144151 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-17 1042

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04