¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Page 6

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-07-23 11

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Where is it best for you to stay over?

It is best for me to stay over my own room.
Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself

2. When was the last time you stayed over at your friend's house?

Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
We just happy to talking each other.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
I will go to her house next month again!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Nicole. 
Below are some corrections for your composition. Keep learning!
-Teacher Jessa
It is best for me to stay over my own room. Because I have to spend my time on everyday.
>>It¡¯s best for me to stay in my own room because I need time for myself every day.
This makes me stay calm and remind today's my talking or behaviors.
>>Being alone helps me stay calm and think about what I said or did during the day.
It is very helpful for me to enforce myself.
>>It¡¯s also a great way for me to strengthen myself.
Last summer vacation, I went to my university friend's hometown with my friends.
>>Last summer vacation, I visited my university friend¡¯s hometown with a few other friends.
We played a lot of games and ate delicious foods too!
>>We played a lot of games and enjoyed delicious food!
We just happy to talking each other.
>>We were just happy to talk and spend time together.
We went to sleep on late night because we didn't realize the time
>>We went to bed very late because we didn¡¯t notice how much time had passed.
I will go to her house next month again!
>>I¡¯m planning to visit her house again next month!








¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145130 7.16 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 60
145129 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 77
145128 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 3
145127 Is it necessary to have a goal in life? Why or why not? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 73
145126 The homework for 16th July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 77
145125 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-17 85
145124 About delay Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 2
145123 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 75
145122 In times of rising global tension (e.g. North Korea, China,... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 73
145121 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 83
145120 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 0
145119 What social media platforms do you use the most? Why? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 86
145118 Homework ¹Ú*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 66
145117 The Art of War by Sun Tzu Te*002 ÁøÇàÁß 2025-07-16 65
145116 the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog Te*002 ÁøÇàÁß 2025-07-16 74
145115 testtesttesttesttest Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 70
145114 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 1
145113 What is something you are looking forward to this weekend or in... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 0
145112 Can you tell me about a time when you didn¡¯t have much time but... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 0
145111 What¡¯s something you usually do to fend off stress? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04