¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can getting older help people understand life better?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2025-07-24 61

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As you get older, your thoughts and mind become wider and I think it can help you to accept and look at life more felxibly.
There is a saying that when you get older, you start to see things that you didn't see when you were young.
This is because there are many experiences and knowledge accumulated over time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Ji Yun. Great job on the homework. Your writing is clear and generally well-structured. Also, your sentences are organized. Thank you for taking the time to check the homework topic and share your thoughts about it. I appreciate it. I hope you are having a great evening. Cheers! ~Teacher Jane c",) 


As you get older, your thoughts and mind become wider and I think it can help you to accept and look at life more flexibly.
>> As you get older, you become wiser, and I think it can help you accept and look at life more flexibly.

There is a saying that when you get older, you start to see things that you didn't see when you were young.
>> CORRECT 

This is because there are many experiences and knowledge accumulated over time.
>> CORRECT 
>> OR: This is because many experiences and knowledge are accumulated over time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145032 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 163
145031 In 3-5 sentences, talk about your most unforgettable summer... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 174
145030 Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 192
145029 What are your social fears and why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 214
145028 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 236
145027 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 182
145026 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 2
145025 Do you check the weather forecast every day? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 220
145024 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 176
145023 Homework °û*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 174
145022 What adjectives, in your opinion, best describe your dream job?... ¼Õ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 191
145021 How can schools create a more engaging learning experience for... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 189
145020 The homework for 9th July Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 2346
145019 Hiking ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 2
145018 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 2
145017 Would you rather have a high IQ or high EQ? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 204
145016 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 229
145015 I have been absent to the work because I was not feeling well. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 186
145014 Write about a teacher who had a strong influence on you. What... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 177
145013 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-10 208

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04