¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can getting older help people understand life better?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2025-07-24 97

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As you get older, your thoughts and mind become wider and I think it can help you to accept and look at life more felxibly.
There is a saying that when you get older, you start to see things that you didn't see when you were young.
This is because there are many experiences and knowledge accumulated over time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Ji Yun. Great job on the homework. Your writing is clear and generally well-structured. Also, your sentences are organized. Thank you for taking the time to check the homework topic and share your thoughts about it. I appreciate it. I hope you are having a great evening. Cheers! ~Teacher Jane c",) 


As you get older, your thoughts and mind become wider and I think it can help you to accept and look at life more flexibly.
>> As you get older, you become wiser, and I think it can help you accept and look at life more flexibly.

There is a saying that when you get older, you start to see things that you didn't see when you were young.
>> CORRECT 

This is because there are many experiences and knowledge accumulated over time.
>> CORRECT 
>> OR: This is because many experiences and knowledge are accumulated over time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144618 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 2
144617 test2 Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 0
144616 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144615 crime ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 2
144614 D10 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 304
144613 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-16 1
144612 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 363
144611 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 3
144610 How do you express thankfulness to something or someone? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 364
144609 my friend\'s new cafe ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 329
144608 What have you lost while traveling? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144607 Share one story you\'ve read about the moon. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 400
144606 bath ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144605 roommate ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144604 laundry ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 1
144603 Do you think anyone can become a celebrity? Why or why not? Á¶*¸® ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 337
144602 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-15 488
144601 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-14 0
144600 How do you show your appreciation towards someone who is kind or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 285
144599 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-13 355

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04