¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2025-07-29 92

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think being famous usually means living a rich life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous.

That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jae Seo. Please take a look at the corrections below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                Does being famous generally mean that someone is wealthy or living a glamorous lifestyle?



I think being famous usually means living a rich life.
>>> OR: Being famous often equates to living a life of wealth and privilege.
>>> OR: Many people assume that fame guarantees a rich and comfortable life.

First, money naturally follows fame. You can earn through ads, sponsorships, and more.
>>> OR: To start, fame often leads to financial gain through advertisements, sponsorships, and various income streams.
>>> OR: Fame commonly results in increased earning potential via sponsorships, promotional contracts, and related channels

Second, famous people get special treatment like free stuff or VIP invites, which makes life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I believe fame often leads to wealth.
>>> OR: Second, famous individuals often receive special perks, such as complimentary products and exclusive event access, which adds glamour to their lifestyle. That¡¯s why I believe fame frequently leads to wealth.
>>> OR: The benefits of fame go beyond money; it¡¯s the VIP experiences and exclusive treatment that make life more glamorous. That¡¯s why I think fame and wealth are closely connected.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144868 How does stress affect physical health? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144867 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 0
144866 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 0
144865 beauty ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144864 Are you open to learning more about other countries\' cultures?... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 296
144863 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 2
144862 Describe the main problems that people face living in the modern... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 345
144861 Storing vegetables ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 315
144860 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 269
144859 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144858 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144857 Where is the best place to hang out with friends? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 281
144856 What are some ways companies contribute to helping society?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 289
144855 What is the implication of having an aging population? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 317
144854 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 292
144853 Which among your goals have you already achieved? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 0
144852 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 314
144851 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 1
144850 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 0
144849 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04