¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

lesson1_part3_Q4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-08-06 231

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q. Do you think it's safer to travel now than in the past?

A. Considering the development, it's safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past. Technological progress made traveling easier and faster. Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip. There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Su In! Great job! Your ideas were clear and relevant. To reach Band 7.0, focus on improving grammar (e.g., has made), using richer vocabulary (travel abroad, explore destinations), and adding natural connectors (Moreover, Compared to the past). Avoid repetition and use idiomatic phrases (sparks curiosity) for a more fluent, natural response.
~T. Jenna

Considering the development, it's safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past. 
>>Considering the developments, it is safer and more convenient to visit another country now than it was in the past.
Technological progress made traveling easier and faster. 
>>Technological progress has made traveling easier and faster.
Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip. 
>>Also, the advancement of civic consciousness has offered more comfortable trip.
There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.
>>There are many more enjoyable and exciting places and things to see around the world; therefore, people have become more interested in learning about other countries.

****
With all the advancements we¡¯ve had, it¡¯s definitely safer and far more convenient to travel abroad now compared to the past. Technological progress, especially in transportation and communication, has made journeys not only easier but also incredibly fast. Moreover, people today are more aware of social etiquette and public safety, which makes traveling smoother and more comfortable. Nowadays, there are countless fascinating destinations and attractions worldwide, which naturally sparks people¡¯s curiosity to explore and experience different cultures.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144941 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 308
144940 Have you ever felt discouraged at work? What would have helped? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144939 Do you think team-building activities can help reduce workplace... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 0
144938 Writing homework ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-06 326
144937 How do you order food in English? ¼Õ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 6
144936 Do you think your workplace provides enough safety training? Why... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 334
144935 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 337
144934 What\'s your favorite thing about your home? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 324
144933 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 289
144932 I don\'t like horror movie. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 293
144931 What are the benefits of playing sports? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 334
144930 How does tourism help the local economy? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 348
144929 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 1
144928 2025.07.04 ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 356
144927 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 2
144926 overcome ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 1
144925 Problem solving ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 341
144924 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 334
144923 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 0
144922 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 281

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04