¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What was the best thing you did over the weekend?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*¾Æ
2025-08-08 57

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I went to climb Daecheongbong Peak in Seorak Mountain four years ago. Before that, I was weak and often was sick. I also didn¡¯t exercise anything. I decided to take care of myself, so I started exercise with a personal trainer. For two years, I exercised very hard and I started be healthy. After that, I enjoyed climbing. Climbing the top of the mountain gave me great confidence. Although I have a neck disc now, I should go climbing again. Although I have also retired because of a neck disc, I will definitely live a second life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Jane!

You are very passionate about all the activities that you choose to do. Furthermore, you are not hampered by the fact that your neck may be in pain. You just keep pushing in climbing mountains and achieving your goal to be healthier in spite of your condition. With this, you are a life champion!

Now that you have retired, you can focus on being healthier and inspiring people around you to stay active and fit. They can be unstoppable even with their physical limitations.

There are a few grammar suggestions I left here in some of your sentences. They are word arrangements, verb forms, prepositions, and vocabulary selection. Please go over them carefully. Overall, a job well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I went to climb Daecheongbong Peak in Seorak Mountain four years ago. Before that, I was weak and often was sick. I also didn¡¯t exercise anything. I decided to take care of myself, so I started exercise with a personal trainer. 
>> I went to climb Daecheongbong Peak in Seorak Mountain four years ago. Before that, I was weak and was often sick. I also didn¡¯t exercise. I decided to take care of myself, so I started exercising with a personal trainer. 

For two years, I exercised very hard and I started be healthy. After that, I enjoyed climbing. Climbing the top of the mountain gave me great confidence. Although I have a neck disc now, I should go climbing again. 
>> For two years, I exercised very hard and I started to be healthy. After that, I enjoyed climbing. Climbing the top of the mountain gave me great confidence. Although I have a neck disc (problem/ challenge/ difficulty) now, I should go climbing again. 

Although I have also retired because of a neck disc, I will definitely live a second life.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144984 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 334
144983 wlof ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 7
144982 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 307
144981 Write about a teacher who had a strong influence on you. What... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 298
144980 Should Korea invest more in forest recreation spaces? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 0
144979 My opinion and reason ÃÖ*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 305
144978 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 275
144977 The homework for 7th July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 311
144976 depression ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 1
144975 Problem solving ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 330
144974 The Sunflower ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 0
144973 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 292
144972 Terarosa coffee ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 302
144971 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 263
144970 Some advice for first-time mothers ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 292
144969 Writing homework ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-08 291
144968 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 291
144967 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 0
144966 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 0
144965 When you¡¯re sick, what¡¯s your go-to comfort food or drink? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 304

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04