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we have to plan for budget

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2025-08-13 14

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To save money is most important to young people . Because young person don't know what do they like something for twenties . This age can a period of confusion. To address, we make the plan for budget and we will use who have to find what do like it myself that we learn many experiences

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Un! Have you had lunch yet? Thanks for doing your essay today. You're expressing an important idea—that young people should save money and plan their budget to prepare for the uncertainty and exploration of their twenties. That¡¯s a great insight! However, here's a corrected and more natural version of your essay. Check it out!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
To save money is most important to young people . Because young person don't know what do they like something for twenties . 
REVISED: Saving money is very important for young people because many of them are still figuring out what they truly like or want to do in their twenties.

This age can a period of confusion. 
>>> This age can be a period of confusion. 

To address, we make the plan for budget and we will use who have to find what do like it myself that we learn many experiences
REVISED: To handle this, it's helpful to make a budget plan. By doing so, we can manage our spending and explore different experiences.
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