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lesson1_part3_Q4

이수인/2025-08-06

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Q. Do you think it's safer to travel now than in the past? A. Considering the development, it's safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past. Technological progress made traveling easier and faster. Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip. There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey, Su In! Great job! Your ideas were clear and relevant. To reach Band 7.0, focus on improving grammar (e.g., has made), using richer vocabulary (travel abroad, explore destinations), and adding natural connectors (Moreover, Compared to the past). Avoid repetition and use idiomatic phrases (sparks curiosity) for a more fluent, natural response.

~T. Jenna

Considering the development, it's safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past.

>>Considering the developments, it is safer and more convenient to visit another country now than it was in the past.

Technological progress made traveling easier and faster.

>>Technological progress has made traveling easier and faster.

Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip.

>>Also, the advancement of civic consciousness has offered more comfortable trip.

There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.

>>There are many more enjoyable and exciting places and things to see around the world; therefore, people have become more interested in learning about other countries.

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With all the advancements we’ve had, it’s definitely safer and far more convenient to travel abroad now compared to the past. Technological progress, especially in transportation and communication, has made journeys not only easier but also incredibly fast. Moreover, people today are more aware of social etiquette and public safety, which makes traveling smoother and more comfortable. Nowadays, there are countless fascinating destinations and attractions worldwide, which naturally sparks people’s curiosity to explore and experience different cultures.